


you know that hope is just a small thing

by orange_yarn



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Established Relationship, F/M, Kid Fic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-12 20:39:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9089881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orange_yarn/pseuds/orange_yarn
Summary: Jyn’s risked capture, torture, and death, risked losing everyone she’s ever cared about, but still, nothing is quite as terrifying as the soft, pink bundle in her arms. (Rebelcaptain KidFic AU)Five short ficlets, focusing on Lyra Andor and her family. AKA, I am a sucker for kid fic and happy endings.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> I was supposed to work on my hurt/comfort bingo tonight. I wrote this, instead. Unbetaed. I'll try to get the other three parts done in the next couple of days, I already know what's going to happen. 
> 
> Kid fic is my not-so-secret favorite trope. Also, my sister asked if I could write some fluff instead of h/c all the time. This is best I can do.
> 
> Title is from "Young Fathers," by Typhoon.

-+-

_ one _

-+-

 

Jyn’s seen war. She’s faced off against Stormtroopers, Death Troopers, Orson Krennic, the Empire itself. She’s spent more time in prison than she’d like to admit, been on more than one suicide mission, and nearly been obliterated by the Death Star. She’s risked capture, torture, and death, risked losing everyone she’s ever cared about, but still, nothing is quite as terrifying as the soft, pink bundle in her arms. 

“Is she supposed to be this small?” Bodhi asks, peering down at the baby’s tiny face, peeking out from the blankets. Normally bristling with nervous energy, Bodhi is utterly still as Jyn carefully passes him the baby, nestling her in the crook of his arm. The medics had shooed her friends away, claiming Jyn needed time to rest. Bodhi, Baze, and Chirrut had snuck back in the first chance they’d gotten, and Jyn was grateful for it. The last thing she wanted to be right now was alone.

“She’s a little early,” Jyn answers, leaning back against her pillows gingerly. Three weeks early, to be exact, and two days before Cassian was expected to return from his latest mission. The war might have been over, but there were still Imperial forces to be dealt with, that needed to be stomped out. “They said she’s healthy.” 

_ Perfect _ , the nurse had said, and Jyn had felt a fraction of the weight lift off her shoulders.

Cassian will be disappointed, Jyn thinks, when he comes home and finds out he’s missed this. She’d hidden her pregnancy for as long as she could get away with, even from Cassian,   _ especially  _ from Cassian. He was happy, when she’d finally told him. She knew he would be, and that’s what Jyn was afraid of. She knew that he was craving the normalcy he’d missed out on for the past twenty years, that he could finally have, now that the war was over. She could give him that. She was mostly sure that she wanted it, too. 

Her doubts evaporated, the second she held her daughter, but her fears remained. There were just so many things that could go wrong, that she could  _ do  _ wrong. She’d lost her own parents when she was a little girl, been raised by  _ Saw Gerrera _ , who, if anything, was a model of how  _ not  _ to be a parent. Even her mother and father, who’d done everything they could to protect her, had left her behind. They were trying to save her, and she knew that, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

_ I won’t ever leave her _ , Jyn promised herself, and decided if she could manage that, then she’d be doing better by her daughter than her parents had ever done by her.

“Who does she look like?” Chirrut asks, breaking his silence. He’s sat in the corner of the room since the three of them had slipped past the medical droids, an unreadable expression on his face. Jyn isn’t sure what to make of it, but doesn’t think it’s the time to ask, and knows she’d only get a vague answer if she did. She’s too tired for riddles.

Baze leans over Bodhi’s shoulder, examining the baby carefully. “She looks like her father,” he finally says, and he’s right. Cassian’s dark hair, his nose, his lips and brow. The only thing Jyn could see of herself was the eyes,  _ her  _ eyes, blinking back up at her, brand new and trusting.

She names her Lyra, after her mother, and tries very hard not to think of all the ways that she could let her down.

Cassian returns a day later, just before Jyn and the baby are released from medical. He has a black eye and a purple bruise on his jaw, but other than that he’s whole and healthy and alive. He’s across the room in half a second, pressing a kiss to Jyn’s lips and then another to Lyra’s forehead. 

“Hello, little one,” he whispers, and Jyn has never seen him so relaxed, so at peace. “It’s good to finally meet you.” His smile loosens something in Jyn’s chest, and for the first time, she thinks that maybe, just maybe, everything will be alright.

  
-+-


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “She’s fine,” Bodhi promises him, palms up in what Cassian supposes is meant to be a calming gesture. “She’s in medical, but everything’s fine, she just, well--” Bodhi trails off. He opens his mouth, closes it, then shrugs, and says, “Congratulations?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, last night I went ahead and wrote chapter two, which skips ahead about three years in the timeline. Except, then I read Monoi's comment, asking about Cassian's reaction to meeting the baby, and I was like...I want to write that??? I said to myself, oh, this'll just be a short little drabble. NOPE, it's about 400 words longer than the first chapter. 
> 
> Anyway, so, here it is, you can thank Monoi for this one. :) I'm really pleased with how it turned out. The bit I wrote last night just needs some tweaks, and it should go up as chapter three later today. I guess this has five parts now? I'm getting the feeling this fic is going to get out of my control, lol.

-+-

_ two _

-+-

 

“I don’t know why you’re so upset,” K-2 says as they bring the ship in for a landing, finally back at base after a week-long mission. “Only 7 percent of human babies are born at 37 weeks gestation. It’s highly unlikely that anything’s changed.”

“I just have a feeling,” Cassian shoots back, frowning at the controls until the ship touches down, watching the landing crew for their signals. That feeling had been gnawing at him since they’d flown out from base a week earlier, searching for an old contact of his that claimed to have intelligence on a handful of escaped Imperial officers. The war might have ended months earlier, but the Empire wasn’t quite dead, not yet. 

He hadn’t wanted to leave, especially not so close to Jyn’s due date, but if there was anything,  _ anything  _ that he could do to make the galaxy a safer place for their child, he would do it, without hesitation. He had done worse things, for less.

“Oh, yes, by all means,” K-2 grumbles. “Ignore my  _ empirical evidence _ because you have a  _ feeling _ , that’s very smart.” Cassian ignores him, and unfastens his harness the second the ship’s on level ground. “Are you at least going to your debriefing?”

“No,  _ you’re _ going to my debriefing,” Cassian replies, pushing himself out of the pilot’s seat and grabbing his jacket. “I’m going to check on Jyn.”

“Draven’s expecting  _ you _ ,” K-2 reminds him, as Cassian grabs his duffel, slinging it over his shoulder. “And also, I don’t want to.” 

“Kay,” Cassian says, stepping closer to put a hand on his friend’s shoulder, only possible since the droid’s still sulking in the co-pilot’s seat. “Do this, for me. I’ll owe you one?”

“Oh, you don’t want to know how many you owe me,” K-2 warns, but Cassian’s already backing away with a smile and wave. “I’ve been keeping score,” he calls, as Cassian slips off the ship and into the hangar, nearly empty this late at night.

Someday soon, Cassian thinks, he’s going to get them a proper house. A military base was no place to raise a child, peacetime or otherwise. For now, though, he makes a beeline for their quarters, doing his best to convince himself that he’s overreacting, that everything’s fine, that Jyn will be --

\-- Jyn’s  _ not  _ in their quarters, it turns out. Cassian stands in the open doorway for an absurdly long time, just processing. It’s the dead of night, if she isn’t here, then where else --

“Cassian?” He turns, startled, only to see Bodhi halfway down the hall, hustling to close the gap between them. Bodhi, who hardly ever sleeps, between the nightmares and the Imperial training he never quite shook, the only one Cassian might actually expect to be up at this hour. “I heard you were back, have you--?” The pilot stutters to a halt, fidgeting with his hands anxiously, and swallows. “Jyn told them not to call you, she didn’t want you distracted, she--”

“Where is she?” Cassian demands, cutting him off. 

“She’s fine,” Bodhi promises him, palms up in what Cassian supposes is meant to be a calming gesture. “She’s in medical, but everything’s  _ fine _ , she just, well--” Bodhi trails off. He opens his mouth, closes it, then shrugs, and says, “Congratulations?”

Cassian runs the rest of the way to the infirmary. He rushes past a pair of medical droids, angrily beeping as he barges into each of the private suites. The first three are empty, but in the fourth he finds Jyn. She’s sitting up in bed, looking tired, and pale, and beautiful. There’s an empty bassinet pulled close to her bed, and a baby in her arms, swaddled up in a blanket.

It takes less than a second for him to cross the room, to cup Jyn’s chin in his hand and kiss her, because he loves her, because he’s missed her, because she’s given him something he never even thought to hope for. 

He pulls away, sits down on the edge of the bed, and looks down at the baby, sleeping against Jyn’s chest. “Hello, little one,” he breathes, his voice barely a whisper. He ghosts gentle fingers across the baby’s soft cheek, and something swells in his chest, something that he can’t name. “It’s good to finally meet you.” He feels himself smile, feels like his heart might overflow, or burst, and finds he doesn’t mind.

“A girl,” Jyn says, answering the question he hadn’t even thought to ask yet. “I want to name her Lyra.”

“It’s perfect,” Cassian murmurs.  _ She’s  _ perfect. He’s seen countless worlds and all their wonders, he’s seen the inky void of space pin pricked by an endless sea of stars, and nothing, none of it comes close to the little girl sleeping in his wife’s arms. “Is she--?” he starts to ask, remembering for the first time since he walked in the room that this perfect, gorgeous little girl wasn’t due for another three weeks. “She’s early?”

“She’s fine,” Jyn promises him. “A little small, they said to keep an eye on her.” She scoots closer, and gently presses Lyra into his arms. “Here, just -- watch her head.”

Cassian nods, but find he can’t speak. Lyra’s impossibly tiny, barely even a weight in his arms. Her little face crumples, and for a second he thinks she might cry, but then she relaxes and goes on sleeping.

“She looks like me,” he marvels a long moment later, after he’s found his voice. 

“Baze said the same,” Jyn agrees, reaching out for Lyra’s fist, tucking it back inside the blanket. “He and Bodhi and Chirrut, they’ve been keeping me company.”

“I’m sorry,” Cassian says, looking up from Lyra to Jyn, guilt rearing up in his chest. “I’m sorry I missed this, I should have been here for you,” he says, but Jyn only shakes her head.

“You had to go,” she says simply, leaning forward and brushing her fingers against the bruise on his jaw that Cassian had nearly forgotten about. “What happened?”

“It’s nothing,” he says, dismissively. He barely even remembers how it happened. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore,” she admits, leaning back against her pillows with a wince. “Remind me to never do that again.” She pauses, a shadow darkening her features, then adds, “ _ Terrified _ . Cassian, I have no idea how to do this.” 

“Neither do I,” he reminds her, and Jyn scowls. “I know, that’s not helpful, but--” He pauses, and reaches out to squeeze her hand. “We’ll figure it out. Together,” he promises, and finally Jyn nods, her expression softening. Cassian carefully presses Lyra back into her arms, then adjusts himself so he and Jyn are sitting by side, backs pressed against the headboard, their daughter sleeping between them. They stay like that until dawn.

And this, he thinks.  _ This  _ is something he could used to.

  
-+-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said, chapter three should go up later today...it's another Cassian POV, and features baby!Poe, assuming I don't end up writing something else in between, ha.
> 
> I'm orange_yarn on tumblr, come say hi.


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn’s life would be perfect, she thinks, if only Cassian would stop trying to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting chapters three and four at the same time, somehow I feel like they go together. Also, because this chapter contains some hurt/comfort, and I know this was supposed to be all fluff and I feel kind of bad. I am just, incapable of writing anything without at least a little bit of h/c. 
> 
> Still unbetaed, still just having fun with this. Thank you for the lovely responses. :)

-+-

_ three _

-+-

 

The base hasn’t changed much, in the months since she’s been away. The atmosphere is different --  everyone’s still on alert, and everyone still has a job to do, although the situation nowhere near as dire. The faces are mostly the same. Jyn isn’t exactly glad to be back, especially considering the circumstances.

The war’s over, even the remains of the Empire are nearly gone. She has a one year old daughter and a little home on Yavin 4, and a husband who’s spent the better part of the past two days in a bacta tank. 

Jyn’s life would be perfect, she thinks, if only Cassian would  _ stop trying to die _ .

He was half-dead when she dragged him out of the Imperial base on Scarif, what feels like a lifetime ago, pulling just beyond the blast radius and onto Bodhi’s little shuttle, held together by a couple of fraying wires and a lot of prayers. She’d saved Cassian’s life a half-dozen other times throughout the war, and some close calls were a lot closer than she liked. 

It was more than that. Even after she’d worked up the nerve to share her secret, she hadn’t told him she was pregnant until  _ after  _ the Battle of Endor, knowing full well that he’d do everything in his power to keep her out of the fight, and that he’d be distracted and off his mark when she showed up anyway. At that point, there wasn’t a thing in the galaxy that would have kept her from finishing the war, and making sure that Cassian was there with her at the end of it.

And if he made it through all of that, just to die because some Imperial sympathizer on a backwater planet got a lucky shot in, well. She’d never forgive him for it.

 

-+-

 

“You’re out,” Jyn says, when Cassian finally wakes on the third day. He’s sitting up in bed, trying to rinse his mouth out, to get rid of the taste of bacta. Jyn knows the feeling. Cassian may have hogged most of the near-death experiences in the war, but she’d still had her share. “I’m serious,” she presses on, when Cassian doesn’t answer her, doesn’t even respond. “This is the last time, it has to be.”

Cassian is silent for a minute longer, watching her. He sets down his water, and folds his hands in his lap. He asks, “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Jyn says, leaning forward in her chair by his bed, resting her elbows on her knees. She’s close enough to reach out and touch him, but she won’t, not yet. “I mean that you need to retire.  _ I mean _ that it isn’t fair, for you to ask me to stay home, to stay safe, while you keep doing  _ this _ .” She waves to him in the infirmary bed, to the bandages covering a mostly-healed blaster wound in his stomach. “So, either you’re out, or I’m back in. It’s your choice.”

She’s been stewing it over for weeks, and even more these past few days. Lyra’s safe at home, staying with Shara and her family, and it’s not difficult to imagine what it’d be like for her little girl to wake up one day and realize her parents weren’t coming back for her. Jyn knew what that was like, to lose her parents, she’d lived most of her life as an orphan, and she knew Cassian had experienced the same. She wouldn’t let that happen to Lyra, she refused to let her lose even one of them. And if that meant going back on active duty, and following Cassian out onto assignment, if only to make sure he made it home in one piece, then that’s what she’d do.

“So?” she prompts, when Cassian doesn’t answer. She drums her fingers on her knee as he mulls it over.

“Okay,” he says, a long moment later. “Okay. I’m out.”

“You’re--” Jyn stops cuts herself off, gearing up for an argument that apparently wasn’t happening after all. “You’re-- _ really _ ?”

“Really.” Cassian says it like he means it, like a promise. Jyn’s still on edge, because she didn’t think it’d be this simple, until Cassian sighs and says, “I’ve been doing this for over twenty years, Jyn. I’m tired. I want to see our daughter. I want to go  _ home _ .” 

“Well,” she says, drawing out the syllables. “That was easier than I thought.”

“You had a very compelling argument,” Cassian assures her, and she laughs. He reaches out for her again, and this time she takes his hand, laces their fingers together, and holds on tight.

 

-+-

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 will be here in just a second. ;)


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some days, Cassian waits around for the other shoe to drop, for the universe or the Force or whatever is out there calling the shots to realize that he doesn’t deserve this, doesn’t deserve any of it, after all the terrible things he’s done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, two chapters at once, yay! This was originally supposed to be the second chapter, now I'm finally fitting it in. I like this chapter because it covers some of Cassian's fears/concerns.
> 
> I honestly can't think of anything else to say right now.

 

-+-

_ four _

-+-

 

Lyra’s born just after the war ends, when peace still feels like a fragile, tenuous thing. Cassian remains on active duty for the first year of her life, until he very nearly dies, again, and Jyn finally,  _ finally  _ talks him into retiring for good. Their daughter deserves to grow up with both of her parents. It’s more than either of them got, thanks to the Empire. Dying for the cause was one thing, back before he had something to lose. Now, he’s got a family that he’s not willing to leave behind, not if he can help it.

It’s a relief, settling on Yavin 4, in a little colony founded by Shara Bey and Kes Dameron and their son. It’s quiet in a way he can’t quite wrap his head around. Cassian thinks he’d like to stay here for the rest of his life. He hopes he gets to.

The other members of the Rogue One crew gravitate for a little while, before drifting off on their own. Chirrut’s been talking about a pilgrimage, and Baze only shrugs, committed to following his husband to whichever corner of the galaxy calls him. Even Bodhi takes a job training young pilots for the New Republic Starfleet. He still manages to visit fairly often, always bringing gifts for Lyra, cementing his standing as her favorite uncle.

Cassian never asked him to, but K-2 stays with them on Yavin 4. The ex-imperial droid seems especially out of place in the sleepy little village, tinkering with machinery, and analyzing weather patterns, but Cassian won’t deny that he feels safer with his old friend around. Although, K-2 does have a habit of predicting various horrible circumstances, such as the odds of Lyra choking on small objects, or sneaking out and stealing a speeder when she’s a teenager. It’s a reminder to baby-proof the house, if anything. He’s not ready to worry about a rebellious phase, not just yet.

Some days, Cassian waits around for the other shoe to drop, for the universe or the Force or whatever is out there calling the shots to realize that he doesn’t deserve this, doesn’t deserve any of it, after all the terrible things he’s done. It feels dangerous, to be this happy, even three years later. The more he wants it, wants  _ this _ , the more he’s afraid he could lose it all. Now that he’s had it, he knows he couldn’t live without it.

Most days, though, he enjoys the peace, and the quiet. He relishes the time spent with his family, and he does his best not to worry about anything else.

Today is one of the those days. He’s sitting with his wife on their own front porch, watching their  daughter and her best friend play in the yard. Kes and Shara’s boy is two years older, but he’s patient with Lyra, holding her hand as they tromp through puddles, pausing when she bends down to pick a flower. If they’re lucky, if they’re all  _ very  _ lucky, those two can grow up not having to worry about empires and rebels, without a war looming over their heads. 

When Lyra’s older, he’ll line up cans on the fence posts and press a blaster into her hand, and Jyn will show her to take down a man twice her size with just a few well-placed blows. They’ll teach her all the things she’ll hopefully never need to know, skills that neither of them would have survived without. There’s a big difference between learning to fight  _ just in case _ , and learning to fight for  _ survival _ , and it’s a distinction he can live with.

The children’s laughter drifts in with the breeze, and Jyn leans down to pick up a toy Lyra left behind. 

“What’s this one named?” Cassian asks, nodding to the X-Wing pilot doll, dressed in a tiny orange jumpsuit, sporting a tiny white helmet. It’s one that Bodhi brought by last time, and it’s been one of her favorites ever since.

“She calls him Pilot,” Jyn replies, turning the doll over in her hand. At Cassian’s raised eyebrow, she adds, “When I was her age, I had a toy Stormtrooper, named  _ Stormy _ .”

“Ah.” Cassian nods and leans back. “She gets her creativity from you, then.”

Jyn punches him in the arm, but she’s grinning. Cassian laughs, slings an arm around her shoulder, and tugs her in close. Today is good day, and that’s enough for him.

 

-+-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, in the novelization Jyn's stormtrooper doll really IS named Stormy, I could not make these up. Also, baby!Poe. I couldn't leave him out, I need him to be Lyra's best friend. :D
> 
> Probably only one more, but I might think it over for a few days more before making up my mind. I don't write kidfic often (at least not as often as I plot it out), so I don't want to skip over something I would enjoy writing. So, I guess let me know if there's anything you're dying to see, and I'll think about it? No promises. The last chapter will be from Lyra's POV, include all of the other characters, and possibly cover a pretty significant time period. At least, that's how I'm imagining it. We'll see.
> 
> orange-yarn on tumblr, come say hi.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm orange_yarn on tumblr, come say hello. :)


End file.
